My Guide to Pimping

Many friends have approached me asking how they can pimp as hard as I can. To them, I have dedicated this portion of my page. Follow my rules carefully and success is sure to follow.

sandra bullock This is a picture of Sandy Bullock. Don't mistake her for Sandra Bullock; they are two seperate people--no relation. I dated her for four months; then I found out that she couldn't understand redox. Which brings me to the first rule:

Rule 1--Never date a woman who doesn't understand redox.

If she can't understand the basics of redox, how can she understand your nature?

ashely judd This is a picutre of Arlene Judd. Don't mistake her for Ashely Judd; they are two separate people--no relation. I dated her for two weeks then I made a fatal mistake. The fatal mistake lead to the formation of rule two:

Rule 2--When presenting the double integral of a nasty sine function to a woman, never leave it half-chewed.

pimpin' eq

If she sees that you present a double integral in a way that insults her intelligence, she will surely leave.

claire danes This is a picture of Claira Danes. Don't mistake her for Claire Danes; they are two separate people--no relation. I muffed this one right off the bat. The mistake lead to the formation of rule three:

Rule 3--Never send e-mail immediately after the first visit to her homepage.

Wait a while, comment on her excellent HTML, then send e-mail.

If you didn't find this the least bit funny, take a deep breath. Then, sufficate to death.

Here's a site a friend of mine recommended: http://www.pimpz.org.